Friday, April 13, 2012

AUGH

So, I was dinking around in the blog stats info and saw a weird referral link.

IT WAS FROM A PICTURE OF A WHALE AUUUGH.

For those not in the know: I'm horrendously cetaphobic. They're terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Give me sharks over whales, give me giant squids over whales. ANYTHING.

The stuff of nightmares? Whale songs. Lisa Frank. The former pediatric floor of the hospital (whale paintings EVERYWHERE).

I blame this terror on my probably too-young reading of Moby Dick. My pants-wetting fear was then actualized when I found out it's based on a true story. Monstro didn't help either.


THIS ISN'T EVEN ONE OF THE REALLY SCARY BITS.

The most crushing example of this fear came when I was in New York City for an awesome literature class. My classmates and I were at the Natural History Museum, enjoying the sights, when we entered the ocean room. The first thing that greets you upon entering this room is a life size model of a blue whale hanging from the ceiling, demonic eye posed to meet your own quavering ones when you set foot into the darkened cavern.

I freaked. I lost my goddamn marbles - luckily another classmate is stricken with a similar completely logical and fact-based fear and we gibbered in horror together. Also in the ocean room (fittingly crammed into a dark corner) is a diorama of a sperm whale attacking a giant squid.

Guess which part scared me more?


How is this not catapulting you into Lovecraftian madness?

I was forced to re-visit the horrors of that day when I was at the bar the other night. The Squid and the Whale was playing, and I foolishly did not connect the title to my repressed memory until the very end. Which resulted in me shrieking and flailing off my barstool.

Point is, whales are scary.

(also what monster is linking whale pictures to my blog I WILL END YOU)

2 comments:

  1. I was going to ask about the whale at the museum. I thought it was so cool, but if it had been a giant spider I would have booked it out of there too so I totally know how you feel. At least your phobia of whales probably doesn't pop up as frequently as a fear of spiders. Unless you go ocean swimming frequently. lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. I sidled along the wall and then tried my hardest to pretend it didn't exist the whole time we were in that room, hahaha. The stiff drinks we had that night quelled the terror somewhat.

    I'm trying to decide if one of those whale watch tours would cure my fear or drive me to the abyss.

    ReplyDelete