Halloween

It's an only slightly belated blogpost!

I've had a decent couple of weeks. Halloween was pretty fun - I spent the day watching Supernatural with Sarah. She was crocheting an octopus and I was working on the Darcy sweater of doom. It's in moss stitch, so it takes forever.

The pharmacy school has a Halloween party every year, with a dessert contest. I made pumpkin cookies and a haunted house cake. It was an awesome cake, if I do say so myself.




I also made pumpkin cookies with cream cheese frosting. They were delicious, and won me the contest. Which got me a Texas Roadhouse coupon. I used it the other night with the ever delightful Dan and the food was actually pretty good.

We finished up the second infectious disease module before Halloween, so this last week was a lovely rest period. It would have been more restful had I not decided to do NaNoWriMo again this year. It's the hardest year for me so far, largely because I did not have time to really formulate any plan of what I would be doing. I'm stumbling in the dark and have fallen behind on word count. I'm sure I'll catch up though . . . maybe . . . It would probably help if I spent less time reading Steig Larsson's series and more working on the nano.

Stress

We're just going to pretend that it hasn't been six months since I've updated.

Yes, yes we are.

To very briefly sum up: it was a busy summer, it's been a busy semester. Story of my life. I'm now proficient at performing brain surgery on rats, and have been touched by the gods of IV surgeries. Seriously, I have magic hands. I can cut open a rat, find the main artery, tie it off, insert a needle and then catheter into the heart, and then tie it up. And the rat survives.

I'm not so great at putting the rats under anesthetic, however. (Tip: when you hit the liver, the rat dies instantly. And the lab's 'No Rat Left Behind' surgery day fails.)

That was most of my summer - working in the lab of one of the pharmacy professors, while still working at Shaver's. I worked 13 days in a row all summer and generally had no time off.

This semester has been insane. Modules are always fast paced, but this seems more intense than last year. We're finishing up the second infectious disease module right now. I have been devouring these topics, and feel even more confident that infectious disease is what I want to do. It's absolutely fascinating. I've also been shadowing an expert pharmacist in a local HIV clinic, and have discovered some interesting things about how I view patients.

What can be one of the most frustrating parts of working with the general public is patients with progressive, preventable diseases. It's hard to see patients who are at the tail end of a condition when at literally *every step* along the progression of this disease, patients have been told what they can do to improve and/or reverse part of their condition. Invariably, they chose not to act on this information. These are diseases that need patient involvement and commitment to see any real improvement and more often than not it just isn't there. Things like cholesterol, hypertension, or type II diabetes - in a majority of cases, when caught early, lifestyle changes are enough. If patients don't put forth the effort, nothing I can do will help them. It's hard to watch that and not be able to do anything and it gets frustrating.

However, I have nothing but empathy for the HIV patients I see. It probably helps that a majority of the ones I've spoken with are very proactive when it comes to their health and have done the legwork on their part to understand the disease.

I think it comes down to having more empathy with anyone who takes the time to understand their disease and at least makes an effort to help themselves. Lifestyle changes aren't always enough, and that's when I'm supposed to be there.

This is something I need to work on.

Another reason this semester has been insane is because I'm the chair of the pharmacy fair. I've worked with a wonderful committee for a year to convince companies to come and interview students, hopefully for positions. It was already stressful with the tanking economy and resulting reluctance to attend in companies, but then a selection of students decided my efforts were all in vain and it wasn't worth their time to attend. Enter a month long battle with scheduling, angry e-mails, and general excessive drama. What happened to professionalism? What happened to enjoying an opportunity to bond with your fellow students? To practice interviewing with companies you will be dealing with at some point in your career?

This is a very contained version of the frustration I've had over the last months, but thankfully it's over now and the fair went well. And I only came close to slaughtering my fellow students a few times (blood is so hard to get out of suit fabric). The worst was when a student was verbally attacking a recruiter in front of approximately 150 people - had I not been in another room watching with utter horror on camera, there would have been blood. Someone actually yelled "Go get her, Kirstin!"

Unfortunately, I have four days to study for the final of the second infectious disease module. Such is life.

I promise I'll be updating more though.

Craftyish

For nearly as long as I can remember, I've watched my mother at her various crafts. She used to make most of our clothing and has always ardently quilted, knitted, cross stitch-ed and just about anything else involving needle and cloth. I tried my hand at imitating her, but I can't muster up the focus to do such minute work, nor do I have the patience to create something with that level of repetitive work. That said, I've occasionally tried cross stitch. My first experience was mildly horrific - I did a simple sampler and ended up moving a little house seven times. SEVEN.

It didn't help that this was before we realized I needed glasses.

That ordeal turned me off the whole process for a good while, but when I found a pattern covered in sea creatures and boats I decided I'd give it another shot.

This is what it will look like when finished. If that's at all possible.

I start with burgeoning optimism. A few hours in, I have nearly completed a sail. Such a worthy project, so helpful in keeping my hands busy! Surely this will be enjoyable all the way through.

Two hours later. Despair is setting in at how ridiculously long this takes.

I succumb to vice.

Finally I give up and die alone, to be eaten by dogs.

Stupid cross stitch.

- SqueezeBox

Books and Easter Disasters

I have a deep and abiding love for literature, for complex stories and their application to the way we live and process our experiences. Unfortunately, I tend to get hung up on overly elaborate details and descriptions often found in the typical novel and miss the broader points.

Cody has introduced me to Japanese literature and continually shows me new authors to read. His latest discovery is a woman who goes by the pen name Banana Yoshimoto. I just finished a novella from her called Kitchen and it was glorious.

The book reminded me of nothing so much as mental sorbet - her tone is light, relaxed, and flowing. It's a fast, 107 page read, but completely worth the half hour or so I spent. The story is about two people whose lives are both touched by quiet tragedy, how they come to terms with it, and how they find solace in one another. It's beautifully simple - no epic, grandiose quest, no end of the world or imminent social change. There's a quiet reflection she conveys that just drained away the stress I've been feeling and made me appreciate the little things we do for other people that mean more than some of the big ones. It was a refreshing change of pace.

Of course, as is wont to occur, this peaceful reflection was then destroyed on my way back to Pocatello on Easter. It's normally a quick, forty-five minute drive. Not a particularly appealing stretch of desert, but with music it's bearable. After approximately half an hour on the highway, I felt something strange happen in the rear of the car and it started handling oddly. I realized a tire had blown and pulled off to the side of the road. The car behind me had seen it happen, and the friendly occupants came out to see if they could help. I popped the back, grabbed the spare tire, went for the jack in the handy side compartment, but - oh, what was this? No jack in the little slot?

How odd, I thought, as I'm not functionally inept and do in fact know how to change a tire. The jack should be here. I have the lever to crank it up . . . Luckily the gentleman driving the other car had one and he zipped off to his car to grab it. We jacked the car up, removed the lug nuts, and discovered to our dismay that the tire was rusted to the bolts. Neither one of us had a hammer. We kicked the wheel, shook the car, drove the car on the wheel, all to no avail. I called the illustrious father and convinced him to bring both a hammer and an actual tire so I wouldn't have to use the spare. The kindly gentleman apologized for not actually being able to help, took his jack, and left.

I then called my less-than-illustrious older brother, as the car was previously his, to discern the location of the jack. His response of "Uh, I dunno, I guess I took it out," was less than helpful. I started rooting around under the seats and, lo and behold, found the jack. The bent jack. Figuring it was better than nothing, I stuck it back under the car and jacked it up - which was really stupid, as the jack bent more. Two more helpful cars stopped, but they were also unable to remove the cursed tire.

At this point it was getting dark, so I threw the components back in the car and started to tromp around the side opposite the freeway to sit inside my useless vehicle. Enter the flashing lights of a police officer. He stepped out of his car and came over to make sure I wasn't some sort of hook-handed hitchhiker about to murder the occupant of the stranded Subaru, then informed me he didn't feel right leaving me alone to wait for my father and would stay in his car so nothing happened. It was a kind gesture, but he also left the flashing lights on so it appeared as though I was getting the world's longest DUI. Half an hour later the previously mentioned father appeared, bearing both wheel and hammer. A few quick taps removed the bastard tire, which he took as I went for the replacement.

"Kirstin, I've never seen this tire before."

"What?" I turned around to see him raising an eyebrow at the sadly deflated hunk of rubber.

"This is not one of our tires. And where's your hubcap?"

Said hubcap has been missing for weeks. I assumed it had fallen off, as the car is from 1996 and is, well, awful. Apparently not so. Some delightful inhabitant of Pocatello stole just one of my tires and thoughtfully replaced it. Can you see, dear reader, why I hate this place?

We put the replacement tire on and discovered it was rather lacking in air pressure. And was studded. I then got to drive 35 mph down the road to the next exit for a gas station with my hazard lights flashing and the studs making the whole car vibrate.

After this ridiculous venture I threw myself into my apartment (I may have been throwing a mental hissy fit. Don't look at me that way, you'd do it too.), poured a glass of rum, and downed it. And then remembered I hadn't eaten anything in a good six hours.

It was a long night.

- SqueezeBox

(forthcoming post that will actually appear in a timely manner: Kafka on the Shore and potentially an accordion video of a sea chantey)

Whaaaaat? An update?

It's been a shamefully long time since my last post. I blame insane classes, high work schedule, and the fact that I've been basically dropping comatose into bed when I come home. It's been a hard semester. We're wrapping up the cancer module right now - this post is a brief break in the sea of ridiculously hard to spell drugs I'm adrift in. I'm having a difficult time forcing myself through this last push of intensive studying. It doesn't help that I tanked one of the exams and am therefore on the borderline of two grades, or that I don't want to specialize in oncology.

Thankfully spring break is in two days and I'll be able to relax then. We'll be between modules so unless I want to read ahead on GI/hepatic stuff, I'm free from studying woes. I also have most of the week off from work, so I plan on playing video games, reading through a stack of books, and playing my accordion. There may be a road trip with Dan in there as well.

As I haven't updated in forever, I also haven't mentioned my current boyfriend. His name is Dan, and he's a good mix of nerd/outdoorsy. He enjoys discussions of chemistry and video games while at the same time taking me longboarding and snowboarding. Having a boyfriend who lives a block away is very strange. Pleasant, but strange. We can have dinner together at the drop of a hat, or he can stop by and play some Modern Warfare with me, or any number of things I'm very unaccustomed to.

One last thing before I dive back into the world of cancer and pain treatment - Pi day was this Sunday and I managed to convince my fellow students to participate. I made blueberry, chocolate truffle, and lemon meringue, while two others made pecan and banana cream. It was a delicious success. I'm not counting my mental block regarding all things lemon that ended in the lemon meringue resembling more neon yellow goop than anything in pie form. I can't make lemon bars either . . . it's a citrus-y tragedy.

There will be more posts from now on as the next module is rumored to be the easiest we have and I'm planning on actually using my camera more. And playing/recording the accordion playing. Now that I have a full size I'll be able to expand what I can do (if my arm holds up, that beast is heavy).

- SqueezeBox